I had this thought while in a state of semi-catatonia. I may have been half submerged in a dream and i've been toying with it in my mind for a couple of months now, but only recently has it emerged into an idea seemingly worthy enough to be shared. For countless days now, I finally had to stop keeping track as my musing on the matter seemed interminable, I couldn't help but ponder upon the many questions which confront humanity. These questions do all the confronting as we are left powerless in the face of the confusion, followed by the internal turmoil which they stir up within us, and I couldn't help but realize, in a sudden burst of enlightenment, visible at first practically out of the corner of my mind's eye that many of the questions which we agonize and waste our lives over, and would've wasted the eight that followed should we have been feline, questions about life and the purpose of ours have answers which are ingrained within us as surely as our DNA code which define us in the way of genetics whilst concealing the secret of our uniqueness, unbreakable and impossible to replicate as it may be regardless of how many Dollys the scientists fixated on cloning insist on overpopulating the world with. Should they carry on as they have been doing, it won't be long until mutated nursery rhyme characters outnumber human beings.

As I was saying before a herd of imaginary almost identical sheep danced acrossed my consciousness all bleating out 'Bah bah black sheep,' we look to so many sourses in the hopes of unraveling the mystery of our lives as human beings. We look to the stars, to the breakdown of our physical attributes which is the very purpose of why genetics exists (not necessarily the creation of an assembly line churning out loony nursery rhyme mascots), looking even to other species such as pigs and sheep and the occassional orangutang in our pursuit of answering these questions, all the while claiming that we belong to a higher order of evolution than these animals do. We consecrate ourselves to numerous deities whose way of life we couldn't half care about or adhere to, admitting only to ourselves that we would just as soon bow down to worship the porcelain god, but for the hope that it will bring us redemption.

Then when all else fails, we curse God and ourselves to damnation, too lost in self induced agony and pity to realize that in our haste and our impatience, in the clutch of the sudden desperation which drove us to hunt down what we do not know, that we've traveled and looked everywhere but to the one place where lies the only hope that our questions might be answered. We forgot to look to ourselves, the one to be blamed for raising all those questions in the first place, the root of all our puzzlement.

We never once stopped to consider the awesome implications of why we are capable of asking such questions of immeasurable magnitude and depth in the first place. Never once did we take a moment to think of how is it that these questions seem to materialize from the very source from which they arise, from the answers which we twist ourselves into pretzel like contortions to find. Answers which we choose to avoid for no other reason then that our lives will suddenly be locked into a certainty, and we fear that certainty, the inevitability of it all.

We blanch at the thought of the day when meaninglessness will fall away and shockingly inescapable purpose will stare us unblinking in the face. We find ourselves as potential roadkill in the overwhelming face of the truths we half hoped we would never discover which is the very reason why we practically transported ourselves to the moon and to the unreachable stars beyond, everywhere but the place where we knew the answers would be.

All of a sudden every excuse to dither and stall and to procrastinate ourselves to death is lost to us, uncertainty and its comforting cloak of ambivalence falls away from our hunched shoulders and all hope of deluding ourselves is ripped from us. When you find those answers, whatever they may be, i'm afraid there's no going back. The baby steps which we take to enable us to wobble through life will no longer be enough, it'll only take a leap of faith without even a blindfold for comfort to bring you to the next divide.

Please bear with me as I am still in the process of making my way across.