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Home » Archives » January 2005 » Absolution.

[ Previous entry: The Arbitrer. ]
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01/25/2005:

Absolution.


I have at hand any number of things which would benefit from my immediate attention, and yet I find myself unable to deal with any of those urgent matters until I manage to relieve, or rather, absolve myself of an idea which i've been twiddling my thumbs over for the last day or two. Really, I know I shouldn't be blogging about something which is in truth, petty and meanspirited, something which doesn't even have anything which will make it worth salvaging, in principle, or any depth which would make it merit a deeper dissertation, but it's the very meanness, the very cruelty of the idea which makes it so appealing, the undeniable parody of it all.

I don't consider myself a mean person by nature, or cruel in any sense of the word (with the exception of finding myself crossed, the traumatic incident with the chicken which occurred during my formative years having have obliterated whatever trace of a cruel streak I may have developed for life), but I can't help but realize, and acknowledge that there are a few select, and special individuals who manage to draw out the demon in me, and not for any particular reason even, I just happen to enjoy mentally nitpicking these poor, 'defenseless', turds, ehr, people. They don't even have to be in front of me for the desire to torture them to arise. All I have to hear is a mention of their names, or a shadow of some idea or memory remotely related to them just has to drift into my consciousness, and they start to annoy me... and I allow myself to be irked... for the fun of it.

And though these un-named individuals are certifiably a waste of space, time, and matter, these incidents make me start wondering about my own sanity.



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